Most Popular
-
Get real: Is 3D a cure-all for an ailing film economy? DreamWorks says 3D helps "emotionally immerse" the audience
-
Great Lakes surfers pay no mind to frigid temps CP goes to Duluth to see what kind of brave souls partake of winter boarding
-
Dining prix fixe leads to the best deal, great meal Leaving decisions to the chef takes away the pressure
-
Hell's Kitchen's new digs rouse damn-near demonic desires for brunch But be prepared to wait for it on the stairway to Hell
-
Five signs the Minneapolis restaurant scene is growing The recession can bite it
Recent Blog Posts
Best Sarah Palin Tribute Ever!
Fri Sep 19, 3:30 PM
5 Questions with: Attitude City
Thu Jan 8, 5:18 PM
Salmonella outbreak strikes Minnesota
Thu Jan 8, 6:06 PM
How to cook squirrel
Thu Jan 8, 11:00 AM
No More Kings
Thu Oct 30, 7:37 PM
First Fallout 3 DLC Screens Arrive
Thu Jan 8, 11:39 AM
National Features >
Broward-Palm Beach New Times
The Agent from Iran
How a mother of two ended up in a plot to smuggle high-tech gear to the enemy.
By Deirdra Funcheon
Westword
Murder By Design
In life and death, tattoo artist Kauri Tiyme made her mark.
By Alan Prendergast
Village Voice
My Brother the Slumlord
Amy Neustein never could resist going public with her family dramas.
By Elizabeth Dwoskin
Houston Press
The Ghosts of Galveston
A visit with the hurricane victims that a country forgot.
By John Nova Lomax
Anarchists
Revoltus chaotica
Published on August 26, 2008 at 1:15pm
Physical Characteristics: They're the guys wearing black handkerchiefs over their faces, like they're about to rob a stagecoach or something.
-
Ward Sutton
Natural Habitat: Student co-ops, vegan potlucks, communes.
Personal Disposition: Enraged against machinery.
Evolutionary Purpose: Provide law enforcement the necessary pretense to indiscriminately arrest/shove/beat/mace any and all protesters and bystanders.
Place on the Food Chain: Against food chains, especially fast-food chains.
Feeding Behavior: They live off the scraps of others. In nature, this is known as "bottom-feeding," but they call it "freeganism."
Mating Call: "You do realize that the nation-state is a relatively new, arbitrary construct, right?"
Weapon of Choice: Molotov cocktails, righteous ideals, body odor.
Your Best Defense: A happy childhood.
Danger Level: Their disgust for any and all order keeps them from being a true threat.
... PREVIOUS | HOME | NEXT ...
Now Click This
