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Books

Issue — May 30, 2007

Heather McElhatton isn't a morbidly obese concubine with a thing for primates. How's that for free will?

Mistakes Were Made

by Tricia Cornell

Mulling a lifetime of bad  decisions, the author searches for a release valve  to keep her head from  exploding
Mulling a lifetime of bad decisions, the author searches for a release valve to keep her head from exploding
Image by Tony Nelson

The Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek—bear with me here, this is going to be worth it—compared one of the choices we ritually make every four years, elections, to the "door close" button on an elevator: It exists purely to give us a false sense of choice and power. Those doors are going to close when they're going to close no matter what we do. We all know deep down that life is pretty random, that we don't choose our own adventure. It chooses us.

All the same, it's fun, for an escapist evening or two, to try to take the reins in our own hands: I know I can choose my way to the monkey sex! I know I can.

McElhatton's decision to take a teenage Italian sojourn didn't bring her to an erotic circus (I'm guessing). Instead there was waitressing and photography school, an MFA, decent success as a short-story writer, and a downright solid career as a radio producer, which allowed her to rub elbows with the likes of Rushdie. (She currently hosts an occasional live variety show, Stage Sessions, which can be heard on MPR.) For her, the end of the chapter didn't read, "Sell novel, flip to page 86. Live life in obscure penury, flip to page 119."

First novel sold, McElhatton now has two new deadlines to meet. HarperCollins is awaiting the follow-up to Pretty Little Mistakes, Million Little Mistakes, about everything we can do wrong after winning $22 million in the Big Money Suckah Lottery. And HarperPerennial has signed her up to write the female counterpart to Chad Kultgen's jerk-lit novel Average American Male.

"Overnight success is, You didn't know about me yesterday," she says, with only the faintest hint of defensiveness, "but I've been here duking it out."

McElhatton figures she'll never be immune to the what-if game. "I had kind of a tumultuous childhood," she says. "I think people who were insecure as children never really totally lose that. They're always looking around, 'Okay, what's going to happen next? Am I in the safest possible place? Is it as good as it could be?'"

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From the Author Archive
Tricia Cornell
A Whole Latke Love — A shiksa's guide to being bubbe at the Hanukkah table (Dec 13, 2006)
The Catcher in the Rye — How to fool an elderly Latvian, and other baking tricks of Beatrice Ojakangas (Nov 8, 2006)
What a Country! — Where can a good comrade go to find caviar in a one-pound tub? (Oct 25, 2006)
Spinach, Salad, and the Seasons — What a dozen seasons as a shareholder in a small farm can teach even the most accomplished cook (Oct 11, 2006)
What Rhymes With Seimone Augustus? — The critics may say the WNBA game lacks poetry. Stephen Burt is determined to give it some. (Jul 19, 2006)
More Books Articles
Heather McElhatton isn't a morbidly obese concubine with a thing for primates. How's that for free will? (May 30, 2007)
You mean Richard Gere didn't bring Buddhism to America?! (Oct 11, 2006)
Comic-strip artist Alison Bechdel draws a messy portrait of her secretive father and the house where he hid (Jul 5, 2006)
Finally, someone has the answer to the binds of modern parenting—a Honduran nanny (Jun 7, 2006)
What can go wrong with 80 acres, 20 cows, a bull, and a pickup? (Oct 26, 2005)
Good Grief: Joan Didion tries to write about loss without losing it (Oct 19, 2005)
Novelist Rick Moody Feels His Pain. Yours? Not So Much. (Oct 12, 2005)
How W.S. Merwin found his own turf--and everyone else's (Sep 28, 2005)
More >>
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