Space Cadets

a) Chrome-covered robot valets who speak in flutey British accents and mix exquisite martinis;

b) milkweeds that crossbreed with GMO soybeans and develop the ability to grow on human skin;

c) Britney Spears's Ensexinating Denture Crème;

d) the 29th Amendment, mandating indentured servitude for those anti-Americans who live without health insurance;

e) people in glittering capes driving wind-powered cars handing you organic veggie pizzas.

If your answer was E, lo and behold, the future is here! This weekend, even, you can have pizzas delivered to you by characters such as Galactic Girl and Captain Fantastic, real Minneapolis folks who will arrive at your house in actual electric cars, and will ring your doorbell while wearing actual homemade lamé capes, jumpsuits, sparkles, and fancy boots (imagine outfits that split the difference between Barbarella, Bjork, and your last last-minute Halloween costume). When you greet them, they will unpack actual pizzas for you that are topped with tasty things that you can feel good about feeding to your loved ones, like mozzarella cheese that comes from local farmers. That is, you can feed it to them if your loved ones can recover enough from the shock of finding someone in a super-hero costume in their home to close their gaping mouths.

I tried this last week, and I can tell you that I was hopping from window to window trying to get a glimpse of the electric car for 10 minutes before Galactic Girl was scheduled to arrive. And when she did show up, the people in my house ran around crashing into one another like Keystone Kops trying to see it all. Darling, it was simply the most thrilling doorbell-ringing experience of the century. And I travel only in packs of jaded, half-lidded rakehells; I shudder to think what will happen when area nine-year-olds get wind of this.

What am I talking about? Only the most shocking news of the year: A new pizza place has debuted in Lyn-Lake, and it is the one place on earth that can bring your liberal heart back from the brink of despair.

You see, Peter Bonahoom, young Peter Bonahoom, 26, an Apple Valley native, a former Davanni's employee, young Peter Bonahoom graduated from the University of Wisconsin at Madison a few years ago, where he worked at Madison's well-known Glass Nickel Pizza Co., returned to Minneapolis, got a good job at Piper Jaffray, and five months later concluded that if he sat in his cubicle another day, he would go mad. So he started a painting business, saved all of his pennies, and dreamed of a way that he could both make a living and make the world a better, happier place. He zeroed in on pizza.

So then he spent all his free time experimenting with recipes for various sauces and such. For instance, he tried 30 brands of tomato paste for his basic red sauce, and settled on such an obscure one that he has to buy it by the case in Chicago. He came up with all kinds of little ways for a pizza place to make the future better, like the electric delivery cars (there's an electric bike, too); buying a community-supported agriculture share in a local farm that delivers a share of their farm produce; getting mozzarella cheese from a Chippewa Valley farmers' collective that isn't technically organic, but raises cows without hormones; using hemp in their pesto and Caesar salad; giving 5 percent of after-tax profits to charities picked by the workers; signing up for Xcel's program where you can pay more for your electricity and have your money designated to purchase energy from wind turbines (that's how the cars are wind-powered, and so, too, in a fashion, the sodas are likewise chilled by the wind); and more, more, more.

It is adorable. When you walk into the Lyn-Lake storefront you feel like you are in the most hopeful place on earth. The space itself is not too much more than a brightly painted box; cheery vintage 1950s dinette sets make the restaurant furniture, there's a conversation couch pit, flyers offering information about an open-mic night (of course), and a menu printed on hemp paper that offers the restaurant's vision statement: "At Galactic Pizza we have a positive vision of the future on our planet..." Well, thank God someone does, because the rest of us read the Times.